Want to hear something funny?

Want to hear something funny?

‘I could never “do” hypnosis, I wouldn’t be in control,’ said a friend, when I told her how I help people.

‘Hmm… I said. ‘I see. But how are you in control now?’

She looked at me, confusion flicking across her face.

‘If you can’t hand over what you see as control to someone else, how can you be control?’

That’s the funny thing about ‘control’ isn’t it. It controls you. Think about it. How can you have control, if you need control? Control has control. You don’t.

And let’s not even take into account that you are always in the driving seat in trance, should you choose hypnotherapy as the route to freeing yourself from what’s holding you back.

You tell your therapist what you’re ready to disclose. We go at your pace. You can even lie to your therapist if you want to (although don’t advise it, it’s not going to help). It’s not a truth serum, though. You are certainly never in a position where you’re revealing information involuntarily.

But do you want to hear something even funnier? You’re in and out of trances all the time. Whether you’re aware of it or not.

Ever wondered how you can drive home and not remember half the journey? You can be in a trance with your eyes open.

When you watch a film. When you watch TV. When you watch advertisements. Oh yes, advertisements. Mass hypnosis.

Ever wondered why you buy the brands you buy? Advertisers are masters of the craft of persuasion. Although whether they use their influence skills for the greater good is questionable.

Maybe because mass media trance is so frequent and so pervasive, you don’t notice you’re making choices that aren’t really your choices.

But of course, you’re in control.

I know. 

Ironic.

Honouring the Greats: Rules of the Mind – Part Two

Honouring the Greats: Rules of the Mind – Part Two

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.”

Albert Einstein, physicist and ‘most famous scientist in history’


Change. We all want the power to change ourselves for the better, but why is that change so elusive? Lasting change needs our thinking mind and emotional mind working together. Our emotional mind lives in the subconscious and drives all our cravings and fears. We may want to let go of a few extra inches, but we may also be aware that we ‘love’ crisps and chocolate and when we’ve had a hard day, chocolate calls us like a siren. 

This is where the role of the hypnotherapist is to work with the client to achieve whole mind desire for change, so the emotional mind and thinking mind work together.

It can be argued that in this quote above, Einstein acknowledges intelligence is about just this process, that true intelligence is about much more than academic ability. It requires whole mind power.

This is the second of two blogs exploring master hypnotherapist Gil Boyne’s eight Rules of the Mind and how understanding them gives greater insight into mastering how we can change. The first four rules can be found here.

The founder of Transforming Therapy, Gil Boyne, knew much about change from both sides of the therapist’s chair. 

As a practitioner he had an extraordinary career, with many achievement milestones marked along the way. As a man he took himself from teenager tearaway to the hypnotherapist sought out by Hollywood stars, including Sylvester Stallone, created his training institute, many novel techniques and whose honours include Man of the Century, by the International Hypnosis Hall of Fame, Valley Forge, Pennsylvania, in 2000

Here are his Rules of the Mind: five to eight

Once an idea has been accepted by the subconscious mind, it remains until it has been replaced by another idea. And the longer the idea remains, the more opposition there will be to replacing it with a new idea.
Thoughts drive our actions so it follows changing our thoughts changes our actions, says Gil Boyne. Not all our thoughts may be correct, but we hang on to them. Can chocolate really make us happy? Can a drink really steady our nerves? Can a cigarette really help us in any way? Looking at the cold facts; no, but for anyone who has been telling themselves that sugar, alcohol or nicotine has an essential wellbeing benefit, that’s an emotionalised response and a fixed idea that can be changed. Facts are facts – the sun does set in the west and rise in the east, but ideas, like ‘smoking calms my nerves’ can be changed.

An emotionally induced symptom tends to cause organic change, if persisted in long enough.
According to Boyne, many reputable medical men believe more than 70 per cent of human ailments are functional rather than organic. Diseases caused by germs, parasites and viruses have their place, but so do conditions caused by self-medicating with drugs, legal or otherwise, as well ailments with an emotional root – stress, for instance, is regularly cited in physical conditions.

Each suggestion acted on creates less opposition to the successive suggestions.
This is why your therapist will take you through responsiveness exercises as you begin your therapy sessions and use a variety of induction techniques as your trance depth is developed. As your subconscious mind accepts that you feel more relaxed, that your eyes have remained shut even though you tested them, so it will accept more complicated suggestions.

When dealing with the subconscious mind and its functions, the greater the conscious effort, the less the subconscious response.
If you’ve ever struggled with sleep you’ll know the harder you try to get to sleep, the harder it is to get to sleep. And that, in itself, is one key to enjoying great sleep – sleep comes to you, it drifts over you like a soft blanket and wraps you in its gentle warmth (feeling sleepy yet?!) – in short, you float into it. So it is with the subconscious; you can’t force it. Develop an expectancy that change is coming and ‘let it happen’, the subconscious mind will follow.

Which of the eight rules has been most enlightening for you? Drop your thoughts in the comments below.

References
Gil Boyne, biography, Wikipedia.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gil_Boyne
Gil Boyne, press cuttings.
https://www.gilboyneonline.com/how-gil-boyne-helped-stallone-become-rocky-balboa/
Gil Boyne Hypnotism Training Manual, Westwood Publishing
https://www.westwoodpublishingco.com/#/

Honouring the Greats: Rules of the Mind – Part One

Honouring the Greats: Rules of the Mind – Part One

Why do we think the way we do? Why do we behave in ways that undermine our deepest desires?

Frustrating isn’t it? Our thinking mind knows what we want, but somehow we sabotage that goal. We tell ourselves we’re aiming too high, or we can start tomorrow, or we respond from a place of deep emotion and past memories – ‘I don’t deserve… I’m not good enough…’

The mind is really very logical – when you know the rules. Master hypnotherapist Gil Boyne’s Rules of the Mind, reveal eight great insights – here are the first four.

We may be puzzled by why we can’t speak with confidence in public, let go of extra pounds with ease, give up smoking, drinking too much or free ourselves from irrational fears.

The job of the hypnotherapist is to help the client achieve their goals; get their emotional mind working for them, rather than against them.

And when the whole mind is invested in achieving desired change, lives change.

Rule Number One
Every thought or idea causes a physical reaction
Your thoughts can impact on all the functions of the body. You’ll have heard about ‘being broken hearted,’ having a ‘nervous stomach’ and how a ‘gut reaction’ kicks in when we sense all is not what it seems. Ideas that have a strong emotional content invariably impact on the emotional mind; the subconscious mind and can impact on the body with the same physical reaction, over and over again.

Rule Number Two
What is expected tends to be realised
Focus on what you want, pursue what you want, pour all your energy into taking massive action towards what you want and guess what… You’ll be in the right place at the right time with the right mental attitude to achieve your goal. The key: keep going. But if you decide not to compete in case you ‘fail’, tell yourself everyone else is better than you, look in the mirror each morning and dismiss yourself… don’t be surprised when colleagues you know don’t have an ounce of your talent get promoted. If you want to win the race, being on the starting line is an imperative.

Rule Number Three
Imagination is more powerful than logic
Your subconscious mind, your feeling mind, is powerfully driven by emotion. Last Saturday I spent 10 minutes clearing a bathroom of eight spiders (apparently a whole family of leggy arachnids had moved in) while grown women quaked in the kitchen talking about how spiders make them ‘physically sick’. These spiders were completely harmless. We ‘know’ spiders can’t hurt us and yet… Phobias are frequently irrational but the imaginative mind needs to be brought on board. We think we’re superior to an over-active imagination, but how many crimes are driven by moments of anger or jealousy? How many more confidence tricksters would be laughed at if imaginations weren’t fired?

Rule Number Four
Opposing ideas can’t be held at the same time
If you believe: ‘my best friend is chocolate,’ letting go over extra pounds is going to be difficult whenever you feel lonely. The words we say have a powerful impact on our subconscious and it does not get irony or sarcasm so even if you think you’re being funny, you’re just underlining a negative emotion solution for your subconscious.  

Gil Boyne
Master hypnotherapist and hypnosis trainer, Gil Boyne, made great and powerful contributions to the world of mental health understanding and mindset training during his lifetime. In a career spanning more than 50 years, Gil Boyne was hailed as a pioneer of modern hypnotherapy, along with Milton Erickson and Dave Elman.

He was also Co-Founder of the British Council of Hypnotist Examiners and Executive Director of American Council of Hypnotist Examiners. Today his Transforming Therapy is taught around the world. His work is reflected in the professional practises of therapists the world over – whether they were trained by him or one of his students at the Hypnotism Training Institute of Los Angeles.

Meditation and hypnosis: the kissing cousins

Meditation and hypnosis: the kissing cousins

The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances ~ Atisa

Meditation v Hypnotherapy.

It never ceases to surprise me how comfortable people are with the idea of meditation, but hypnotherapy…? Hmmm…

Imagine yourself meditating. 

What do you see? Yourself sitting crosslegged, a blissful smile playing on your lips?

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Imagine yourself in a hypnotic trance… what do you see?

Powerlessly telling your darkest secrets? Barking like a dog on command, unable to control your reactions as you chew away on raw onions?

Interesting, isn’t it. 

And yet, so far from the truth.

Because here’s the reality. Meditative trance and hypnotic trance. Pretty much the same state.

‘But what about those stage shows?’ I hear you. But here’s the thing. They’re not hypnotherapists. They’re in show business.

Any hypnotherapist will tell you that, contrary to what you might imagine, you won’t do anything or say anything you don’t want to do or say when you’re in a hypnotic trance. Here’s the secret to what appears to be ‘mind control’: those people you’ve seen on television, or in shows on stage… they’re highly extroverted, highly suggestive individuals who have been carefully selected because the mesmerist wants someone who loves to perform. Watch how they select who gets up on stage. That process is about assessing who is suggestible and is up for performing and really, really wants it.

In fact, moving into a hypnotic trance state itself is very like the deep relaxation state you’ll enjoy at the end of a yoga class or when you’re meditating.

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Of course, in hypnotherapy, we use this deep, relaxed state to explore issues that are holding us back from living the way we want to live. 

Hypnotherapists are guides, helping you explore the past to understand where you developed patterns of thinking or habits of action that were once a coping mechanism, but no longer serve you. Like eating when you feel lonely or self-sabotaging your best efforts to find the job of your dreams or choosing Mr Wrong over and over again.

Then we help you take control and move forward in the way you want – because we are all authors of our own stories and we can all have a happy ending.

It’s just sometimes we need a hand to help us pick up the pen and find the positive words that will propel us along our story’s timeline, in the direction we want.

Photos: @erik_brolin @xsanfeng @romankraft

The No1 cause of limiting beliefs

The No1 cause of limiting beliefs

‘Why do you always have to be such a diva?’ the mother hissed at her daughter as the little girl, still in her slightly-too-big school uniform, looked down at the floor and cried. Just a little bit harder.

It was early evening on a Friday in my favourite, end of the week pub tea and unwind venue, in our currently quite sleepy seaside town.

I’ve a finely practiced ear for listening in to other people’s conversations; the habits of former newspaper reporters die hard. Pubs are a primary source of what’s going on beneath social surface so I’m frequently doing this without even realising.

And on the surface that’s just a mother losing her temper with a child who’s having a moment. The whole family trailed out the pub, the menus abandoned on the table, because the little girl clearly couldn’t stop crying and the mother wasn’t in a place to manage her child’s distress.

But as a hypnotherapist, I hear more than ‘Why do you always have to be such a diva?’ I hear the seeds of trouble ahead being sown, for a little girl who may well grow up with a diva streak a mile wide and wonder why she can’t form friendships and relationships the way others can.

Here’s the why.

When we ask a child ‘why are you always slow’. ‘why do you have to be so greedy’, ‘you’re no good at maths, why can’t you even add up?’ they can take on these labels and they can stick. Because at the time they’re just a little kid, they don’t know ‘why’ so they assume that’s their identity and they wear it.

‘I don’t know why I can’t keep up, I must be slow’.
‘I don’t know why I want more, I must be greedy.’
‘I must be terrible at maths because I don’t know why I got that sum wrong.’

How many of us can read perfectly well, but will insist we’re not great at spelling? Where did that come from? When you think about it, how can that be true? Doesn’t make sense, does it, when you apply logic… (having a ‘lightbulb’ moment?).

Children don’t think like adults, their minds work differently. A child of six won’t be able to rationalise why she’s having a meltdown at teatime, after a long day at school (although I could hazard a guess) and she will have no idea why she’s being ‘such a diva’.

Children’s minds don’t develop the ability to think critically and consider abstract ideas until they’re past 11. This sort of reasoning is one of the last to develop, as they mature into young adults. And although  the stages of cognitive development in children may be flexible to an extent, I’d be very surprised if our sobbing little girl, who looked about six or seven, could raise her head and say: ‘I’m not being a diva mummy, I’ve had a long day, my blood sugar levels are somewhere on the floor and frankly I’m overwhelmed by the idea of sitting in a crowded pub, when all I want is something to eat and a lie down.’

And so she takes on the shame of the label and it being her fault everyone had to leave. Shaming is very powerful, but it seldom leads to positive outcomes.

Episodes in our childhood where people highly influential in our lives, such as family members, teachers or even other kids, label us and shame us are invariably the root cause of limiting beliefs we hold onto in adulthood.

I don’t work with children, but I do work with adults carrying labels they collected as children. I’m fat; I can’t cope, I’m stupid, I’m unloveable… the power of working with clients in hypnosis is they can see the bigger picture, because now they have the ability to apply logic to the scene that set the stage for living with a label that’s not theirs.

They can take off the label, once and for all.

Myth-busting hypnosis

Myth-busting hypnosis

‘You use hypnosis not as a cure, but as a favourable climate in which to learn,’ Milton Erikson

When I talk to people who want to come for hypnotherapy there are questions that come up. Frequently. 

That’s natural. Whenever we’re trying something new, we may hesitate. It’s easy to get caught up in the ‘what ifs’ and forget about our aims – to move forward towards our goals, free from what’s been holding us back.

So here are a few questions I’ve heard and here are the answers. If you have more questions, you are very welcome to contact me. And do your own research; hypnotism has been researched for a long time. There’s lots out there.

Once I’m hypnotised, will I be instantly transformed?

Hypnosis is a tool, not a magic wand. In hypnosis we work within the world of the subconscious mind, where emotions and feelings are more easily accessed. This is why clients engage at a level that’s not available through the conscious mind alone. More of the mind is working towards your specified goal.

Will I surrender all control?

I hear this frequently, and I’m not surprised, given the dramatisation of hypnosis we see on TV and in the theatre.  Stage hypnotists are of a different ilk. And they get confused with hypnotherapists. All that ‘you are in my power…’ nonsense (cue therapist eye-roll moment). It’s a show. Stage hypnotists are looking for highly extroverted people who, on a subconscious level, want to be part of the fun. And that’s all stage hypnotism is – fun.

Consider this… if stage hypnotists and hypnotherapists could make you do anything against your will, why are we not all living on tropical islands, living lavish lifestyles because you’ve given us all your money? That’s not the situation, is it. We live ordinary lives because we’re ordinary people. Yup, because YOU are in control.

Will I tell you things I don’t want to?

Again, you are in control. If there’s something you don’t want to say, you won’t say it. Hypnotherapists cannot ‘make’ you do or tell us anything you don’t want to.

I’ve heard hypnosis is ‘unnatural’ or ‘dangerous’

You naturally go in and out of hypnotic states all the time, often without even realising. Have you ever arrived somewhere and realised there are stages of the journey you don’t remember? That’s one type of trance state. And very common.

Hypnosis is an ancient therapeutic tool that can be dated back to the ancient Greeks and Egyptians. Modern hypnotherapy is based on research by famous twentieth century psychologists such as Carl Jung and Milton Erikson.

What if I can’t be hypnotised?

If you’ve ever fallen asleep or woken up, you’ve been in a hypnotic state. That moment before you slip off to sleep or are stirring into wakefulness; they are both hypnotic states.

Being in hypnosis is somewhere between sleep and wakefulness, in many ways. It’s a sleep of the nervous system that allows us greater access to what’s going on in our subconscious. What drives our emotions and feelings is rooted in there. The subconscious mind knows where your issues are rooted?

What if you make me believe things I don’t want to?

Your hypnotherapist is your guide, working in partnership with you. You can accept or reject suggestions in hypnosis and that is absolutely right. It’s my job to adapt to your needs and discover what is meaningful for you in that moment. Everyone responds in their own way; it’s not a test, it’s a journey we take together.

Will I just need one session?

Anyone who tells you they can get consistent, instant results in one session, isn’t being realistic. Each client comes with different issues, we all respond differently to hypnotherapy and we are all living in different environments which may challenge us in different ways that may not have been explored in that hypnotherapy session. It is possible to achieve long-lasting instant results, but it is not the norm.

You are a unique individual dealing with a unique circumstance, based on your unique experiences. Be compassionate with yourself. Your hypnotherapist will be too.

Can’t I just listen to suggestion recordings?

Positive suggestion recordings are great and they’ll make you feel good, but experiencing lasting change for you is unlikely. If your subconscious is like a pool and the water is murky from unresolved past experiences that are holding you back in the present, going swimming in that water unhindered is unlikely. Better to get clarity and clear up the pool before you go swimming. 

If you have more questions about hypnotherapy, contact me at dmtherapies@gmail.com. I offer a 20-minute free discovery conversation for you to explore whether hypnosis is right for you.

Power to heal is yours

Power to heal is yours

‘Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.’

Mahatma Gandhi


Occasionally in my line of work you are asked to help people you know. That’s both pressure and a blessing.

I trained with Lillieth, on the Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) Advanced Practitioner course. She does great, meaningful work as a children and mothers’ therapist.

When Lillieth was hit by crippling headaches while on holiday in the USA, she thought she was having another migraine. But the pain just got worse.

What transpired was she’d had a brain haemorrhage, which had left a blood clot in her brain. Hospital followed. So much fear and uncertainty, and then Lillieth had to wait for medical permissions to fly home. Back home in Holland, recovering, she was left with a weakened right side and her speech was affected. Her doctor advised her to prepare for a long recovery period..

I coached Lillieth via skype and gave her a bespoke, RTT hypnotherapy recording to aid her body’s recovery process. She immediately felt and saw results. She continued to listen to her recording at least daily and beyond the minimum 21 days we usually advise to embed a habit.

When she made this testimonial for me, just weeks after her getting back home, Lillieth says her speech is almost 96% back, her body strength is returning.

Her doctor thought Lillieth wouldn’t be working for a year. She’s already back helping mothers and children, doing the job she loves.

I spoke to her again in September. She looks really well. She’s full of life and love for her future, planning her first speaking engagement – in front of 150 people in October!

This transformation is not just my input. Lillieth was right there. Doing the work, listening to the recording, developing the ‘I can, I will’ mindset that has seen her through this trauma.

Therapists do not have magic wands. Recovery is a two-way process. We light the way with everything we have, but it’s the client’s journey. When the client works with the therapist, steps forward and puts whatever energy they can find into getting up and moving on, then it feels like transformational miracles can happen.

Not having your cake and eating it too

Not having your cake and eating it too

‘Pour some sugar on me, in the name of love,’
Def Leppard

Doughnuts… ice-cream… black forest gateaux… cookies… Belgian triple chocolate chip cookies dipped in chocolate…

If your mouth is watering just reading those words then you’ll have a thing for sugar. I mean who doesn’t, right?

But for some of us, sugar-lust can get out of control – and never more so when we’re feeling low.

Emotional eating is rarely triggered by having a great day. It’s triggered by feelings that bring us down. Like feeling judged, feeling sad, feeling lonely, feeling less than in balance…

Sometimes the strangest things can throw us – and before we know it we’re stood in the kitchen, fridge door open and scanning for the foods that satisfy our personal craving needs.

Of course, a Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) session will help you identify what happened in your past that created these associations. 

Reframing these associations in hypnosis can be incredibly powerful because the subconscious is then on board with what you want. It stops the ‘go on, eat the cake, cake makes you happy’ mantra because the whole of the mind – conscious and subconscious – understands that it was never really about the cake. 

The mind’s job is to move you away from pain towards pleasure. Once the mind understands that the craving is triggered by a memory, the need for the cake evaporates.

Let me give you an example. On my 18th birthday my mum took me to London. A big treat. We had lunch in a pizzeria in the Brompton Arcade and in the afternoon mum bought me a glass necklace in Harvey Nichols as my present. There, we went to the cafe for a drink. 

While I found us a table she bought us three slices of cake each, plus fizzy drinks. I remember remarking on the amount of cake she’d bought, but I also felt duty bound to eat it all with her. You never left anything on a plate in our house. My parent were World War II children, food had been rationed in the UK and going hungry was not unusual. Food was not to be ‘wasted’. Besides, leaving any would have made me ungrateful and I didn’t want to spoil the day.

Children look to their parents constantly for cues on how to behave. ‘Food as a reward’, ‘over-eating as a privilege’ are both powerful messages.

Did this one incident turn me into a cakeoholic? Not entirely, but it was key and it was reinforced with lots of ‘cake = rewards’ messaging over the years beforehand and so my ‘sugar = reward’ thinking was a sealed fate.

Now I understand that these scenes are really about love. The cake is merely the messenger. Connecting to the memory of love is just as powerful. And my subconscious understands that now too.

The need to binge can be complex, but it is invariably about recreating an emotion or sometimes pushing one away.

Understanding is power, but understanding in hypnosis is a phenomenal power because the whole mind is engaged in your desire to change.

I now hear myself say ‘No thank you, I don’t really like cake.’ Because really it’s just a mush of sugar and fat that makes me feel a bit giddy and then slightly sick.

If you want this kind of change for you, contact me for a free first consultation.

Fairy tales and facts: why hypnosis gets results

Iceberg Rory Hennessey

Thanks to TV and stage magicians, hypnosis has a reputation it could well do without. We’ve all seen people on stage with a hypnotist, seemingly under a spell. The reality is no one leaps about a stage like a monkey unless they want to – hypnosis doesn’t take away your will. Hypnosis is simply a way in, to accessing that 90 per cent of the mind that lies below the surface; the subconscious mind.

You see, your mind is very like an iceberg and within what lies below the water’s surface are all the key events, the memories that influence our behaviours. Like why we crave chocolate, or self-sabotage when we’re trying to lose weight.

I practice RTT, which is a stand-alone therapy using hypnosis as a way to communicate with the subconscious, so we get your whole mind on board with the changes you want to make.

Here’s a list of Frequently Asked Questions about hypnosis and RTT. If your question isn’t answered here, bob your query in the comments and I’ll do my best to answer it.

What is RTT?

Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) has been developed by internationally renowned celebrity therapist Marisa Peer. Having trained in hypnosis and hypnotherapy, during her 30-year career Marisa has developed her own approach which does what is says on the tin – it gets results, fast.

Why is RTT different?

RTT uses a powerful blend of hypnosis and hypnotherapy techniques with clients seeking freedom from one or more of a wide range of issues or conditions.

In RTT we aim to deliver positive, permanent change in a single 90-minute session, although issues can require around three sessions in total.

What issues can you use RTT for?

There are a whole host of issues and conditions for which RTT gets amazing results. They include:

  • Addictions
  • Alcoholism
  • Anger
  • Anxiety
  • Confidence
  • Depression
  • Exam nerves
  • Fears
  • IBS
  • Insomnia
  • Phobias
  • Public Speaking
  • Stress

 

What is hypnosis?

Hypnosis is simply a tool we use to work with the subconscious mind. Imagine the mind is like an ice berg, the conscious mind is above the water line but the subconscious, the emotional mind, lies beneath the waterline, deep and unfathomable from the surface. Because the subconscious is the deep-seated, more instinctive and much larger part of the mind it over-rides the conscious mind all the time.

Will I be powerless under hypnosis?

Absolutely not. You are in complete control under hypnosis. If you want change, change will come but no one can make you do anything you don’t want to do in hypnosis.

Will I be asleep?

No, you will be awake and aware of what is happening.

What does hypnosis feel like?

We go in and out of trance states every day. Have you ever driven your car along a very familiar route and arrived home with little recollection of the journey? Hypnosis feels a lot like that. You are completely in control but your subconscious is awake while your conscious mind rests.

Who is Deana Morris?

Deana is an Advanced RTT Practitioner based in Eastbourne who came to RTT after discovering its seemingly miraculous results for herself. Of course, RTT isn’t a miracle, but it gets results fast because it gets to the roots of the issue and untangles you from their grasp.